The V Day

Countdown To The Unholy Valentine's Day

"I'm more aware of valentine's day now that I'm single than I ever was in a relationship. I miss being able to ignore it."

Yes, valentine's day is around the corner, knocking the doors that will never open due some hesitation. There seems like less clarity when it all come in a small package; full of lie, infidelities, and hope.

Human form was created to love and to be love. Yet, everyday people hurt and suffer by the holy name of love just because want to act normal. Is love normal or just the absent of this kind of feeling make me wandering around clueless and and unspeakable.

Can love make me a social retarded? Maybe.... I'm hating it yet craving for it - every inch of my body still desire the feeling sensation of heart beating-fast, palm sweating. Is this it? Valentine's day.... Oh Valentine's Day... I hate you Valentine's Day...

eezwany

Am I Depressed?

Depression

This feeling of depression
I tell you its ok
I assure you that if you close your eyes
You'll wake to a brand new day

This feeling of depression
I tell you its alright
So you close your eyes and rest your head
Lets put off this fight

This feeling of depression
I tell you its just this
A feeling is and never was
A thought one day you miss

This feeling of depression
I tell you I control
With every ounce and every bit
Held deep within my soul

This feeling of depression
Will go away so soon
I close my eyes but cannot sleep
Perhaps ill watch the moon

This feeling of depression
Im sure you’ve felt it too
But when I scream I feel alone
But its something we all go through?

This feeling of depression
I lack the words to say
Has consumed my heart and left me bleeding
Perhaps to god ill pray

This feeling of depression
Will never call it quits
Perhaps its time to just throw down
And turn away my chips

This feeling of depression
I tried to tell you, why
Are you not here to hear me ever!
Not even when I die

Tomorrow Is The Anniversary... Day

25 January.....

"Yeah... it is been a very long journey. How can i forget about it. No... never gonna let it go, i'm not letting it go. Never, even for a once... in my hideous life have i regret it. Maybe i'm mad, angry, pissed but the truth is, she is the best things ever happen in my life. Six years have slips around my sanity with everyday thinking about her, about the reason - asking myself what motivated her when she did "that" to me. I never get the answer. Maybe, the best things to let her go is to meet her and ask her why. Having said that, her finger already rounded with "cincin". As a Muslim, "tak manis" if i call her and ask her to meet me. I just want the fucking answer, thats all!"

*gasp*

Anniversary.... what else.... just memories....

P/S - Broken hearts are never healed. They haunt us for a lifetime even if we find someone else. Our past teaches us lessons that make us more aware and more human. Why then do we feel so hurt knowing it can only get better?

Two Upcoming Gigs

Its been a while since the last times i post an entry in this hideous looking blog. Maybe i didn't know what am i suppose to write. The possibilities of me writing nothing here - today is humongous. Lately, it feel so weird, awkward, strange like living in the small cages with all those smelly shit loaded with stinky human corpse! Maybe these emptiness trying to tell me something. Something deep, something unreal, something that i can't achieve, i cant taste, i cant feel... something called.... Argh! Shit! What can i do when every single morning when i woke up and i look out on the mirror, what i see is the most pathetic human form standing there. Everything is messing up badly. Is this real... always asked myself that dumb question.
Day by day.... just the same... who bother?! No one cares! Do you people thinks that i need an attention.
Suicide... no...no... im a muslim... i would never do that...

Okay... to the title ...

This is the upcoming Gigs for Missing Chapter...
The first one is in Bukit Bintang at Little Havana.


For further info log on to http://ricecooker.kerbau.com/

And the second one is in Shah Alam, near by the Shah Alam Lake.
This one is a little bit special because an Indonesian band Everybody Loves Irene is to share stage with us.


I hope you guys gonna be there and support our local scene! There's an art exhibition as well and the ticket is only RM 5.

My New Year's Resolution and Upcoming Gigs - Charity Show In KUTPM Shah Alam

My Top 5 New Year's Resolution

Wow! Its been almost two damn week i didn't write anything is this so called my personal blog. A few day ago i caught a quiver on my lips.... A sensational feeling like something was running madly around my lips and cheeks. I didn't know why, maybe it just felling...like nervous. But for what? Well, we (Malays) always have a pepatah for that and until today i cant find a single clue what is it. Hmmm... Maybe it's time for me to find girlfriend. Girlfriend? NAHHHHHH!!!! Maybe in ten years? Well... before i start to mumbling like an asshole like Borat did, i wanna wish everyone (ada orang baca ke blog aku ni) Happy New Year! My new year resolution? To be frank, i don't even think about it, i do... a little bit but hypo-pathetically almost none! So..to fulfill my "duty" this is my Top 5 Resolution:

1. I want to smoke less cigarette. (I knew Vovin, Fariz, Budak Baik, Nazim, Opee and Aliya {officemate}will laugh like hell to me) I will prevail!!!
2. Want to compose/created (chewah) many songs with my limited skills and idea to my band Missing Chapter and mastermind it until we can perform with Pearl Jam!
3. I want to make my Mom happy (beside getting marry. Yup... my mom seriously with no intentional of making joke to me.. ask me to find her a menantu and she even wanna be a match-makers for me! Gosh! Am i that pathetics?!)
4. I want to meet Agnes Monica Muljolo. BADLY!!!
5. Have my own rides. ( Honda would be nice...but woooooo!)

P/S - Just ignore Number 1.. HAHAHAHHAHA!

Upcoming Gigs For Missing Chapter

This is a project organize by KUTPM student. What i knew this is gonna be a charity show. And it gonna be held at KUTPM Shah Alam Kampus. This Saturday, 13 January 2007 with some great band and line up... Some of them i already knew like Deepset and I/Am/Rain. Well... maybe i gonna make a review about this gigs. Hopefully!